How to Stop Fighting Over Money

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Published: 01st November 2012
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Fighting over money?

In this troubling financial times, many people, especially those in relationship and are married, are more than ever tending to have fights over money.

In fact, the No. 1 reason for divorce, even besting infidelity, is financial feuds.

So, if you think that your marital bliss is being threatened by your financial disagreements, here are some tips on how to stop fighting over money once and for all:

Understand Each Otherís Perception on Money. Each of us has different views and gives values on money. Money is not only a currency to pay all those bills and luxuries, but money also represents control, power, freedom and dreams. If you want the fighting over money to be over, then you need to make an assessment of what money means to you and your partner. Having an understanding of each otherís viewpoint about money will make it easy for you to accept them and reconcile your differences.

Separately Deal with the Emotions and the Numbers. To break the cycle of constant fighting, you need to quit the blaming and stick first to the facts and numbers. Take a time-out, take your angry feelings out of the equation and agree to work together and start fresh.

Take Time to Have a Sit Down together and Assess Your Financial Situation. Take stock of your finances. Assess everything from bills, debt, to any retirement accounts or other investments you may have. Face your debts together, openly and honestly, without blaming each other.

Be Proactive, Not Reactive in Talking about Money. Donít only talking about money when thereís a problem, like high credit card bills.

This is because talking about money only when thereís a problem may cause you to more likely point fingers and get defensive as youíll be in panic mode because youíre not ready to deal with these issues. So, instead of waiting for things to get bad, both of you must take time to have a sit down and talk about how to make things good as well as proactively plan a strategy in dealing with any potential financial problems.

Take Time to Dream Again. Though itís going to be difficult to remember your dreams when youíre picking apart credit card statements and grocery bills, you must take time, set those bills aside for a moment, and dream together again. This is because your dreams are what energizes you and what will bring you together as a couple.

Create a Budget. Once youíve assessed your finances honestly and talked about your dreams, it is now time to sit down and make a budget together. Take note that it is important that both of you take ownership in your financial plans. Aside from making sure the bills are paid, make sure also to allow each of you to have some cash that you donít have to be accountable for. Itís important that each of you has a personal financial space that will allow you to let go a bit, without feeling guilty, and feed your meaning of money.

Also, donít forget to allocate savings to go toward those dreams you wrote down. You must set aside some money each month, even if itís only a little. By saving for your dreams, you will then be motivated to save and give you a shared goal, which is a great way to bring you closer together.

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